Hi everyone,
First off, apologies for missing the From the Notebooks Of newsletter earlier this month! I try not to miss any installations, but I was so busy with end-of-semester responsibilities—I led two in-class discussions and had a 13-page paper due on top of the usual coursework—that I didn’t have the time.
The semester ended last Monday, so I thought I’d take a moment to reflect on it, as well as on my choice to enroll in the first place.
I guess I’ll start by saying that I think, so far, it has been worthwhile. I struggled a bit in the summer semester, feeling disconnected from the topic I was studying (theory) as well as from the people I was learning with (the class was virtual and most of my classmates were in different masters programs), and worried that the experience would be indicative of what the degree as a whole would feel like. Thankfully, I was wrong about that.
This semester, I got a really good handle on what my weaknesses are (my biggest is probably that I seem to lose track of my “why”—why am I writing this, why should someone read it, what would a reader get out of this essay?). Plus I learned to stay more open to reorganizing my paragraphs within the piece as a whole thanks to two separate editing experiences that showed me the power of taking what I’ve already written and simply bringing pieces forward or pushing them back. I think I also know more about my own voice now, plus what it means to develop and have a “style.”
Hosting the reading at KGB this semester was definitely a highlight. I got to have a hand in selecting the readers from each genre, and I also introduced the event and each of the nonfiction writers. The program manager kept reassuring me that these readings have great turnouts, and yet I was still so nervous that no one would show. And all that worrying for nothing, because it ended up being completely packed. Rosalind, Chelsea, and Elz were the readers from my genre, and two others from my cohort also attended, as well as my lovely partner and some of my amazing friends.
Standing at the podium in front of that crowd, I made sure to peek up from my paper now and then to look up at everyone, and I was so pleasantly surprised to see that the entire bar was looking at me with the most incredibly expectant and supportive faces. Everyone looked so genuinely pleased to be there. It really made me believe in the inherent kindness of people. It was just an amazing experience, all around.
Getting to speak with Melissa Febos was another highlight. She was incredibly well-spoken and knowledgeable, and I look up to her so much. I came away with two big takeaways from our discussion that I know I’ll hold close to me going forward:
You may not have to write every single day to be a good writer, but you have to shape your life around your writing. You can’t let your writing come last. It has to come first, or as close to first as you can possibly allow for depending on your circumstances. It will be uncomfortable. You will miss out on things. You will have to give things up. It will not always feel good. But it’s the only way. If you imagine that your life will simply make room for your writing, you’re wrong. There are already enough things to take up the entirety of a life without writing as it is, so you have to make it a priority.
Talent means little compared to stamina. There are many very talented writers, but talent only gets you so far. Talent doesn’t equate to a finished manuscript. So I might not be the most talented in my MFA (or the second-most, or third-most, etc.) but I think I have pretty impressive stamina. If I can just stick it out, and write for at least an hour every weekday after I finish my MFA, and keep going without the morale/ego boost of awards and publication and whatnot, that alone could get me very far. The talent will come.
I won’t lie—there were definitely moments when I questioned why I had chosen to do this program in the first place. I had told myself that I was pretty much doing all the work for the degree on my own already, so I might as well get the official credit for it by getting the degree, and yet, when I was enrolled, it didn’t always feel like that. There were moments when I felt I was wasting my time when I was reading essays that didn’t seem related to anything I was writing, or workshopping submissions that I didn’t connect to.
But overall, I read more than usual, and what I read was more diverse, I kept writing, I learned a lot through workshopping not only my work but also that of my peers, and best of all, I solidified my book idea. It’s an idea I feel really excited about, and when I’ve mentioned it to people, it’s sparked a lot of interest and great conversations. People have either given me topics to look into or book recommendations or just shared antidotes on the topic, and these discussions have been incredibly fruitful. I have a ton of ideas as to how to proceed, and feel excited to work on it. Is there really anything more a writer can ask for?
Favorite readings from the semester
My favorite book was Melissa Febos’ Girlhood, hands down.
My favorite writer I discovered this semester was Jordan Kisner. I cried reading her essay Thin Places in n+1, and I also loved her piece Throwing Punches in a Dive Bar in The Yale Review. After reading some of her other work online, I ordered her book, Thin Places, which I’m currently reading and loving.
My favorite “I never would have read this” essay was a toss-up between Anna Shechtman’s Wages for Housewives, published in The New York Review of Books, and Chloé Cooper Jones’ Such Perfection, published in The Believer.
My favorite “I’ve been meaning to read this for forever” essay was Susan Sontag’s Notes on Camp, which we read alongside Jesse McCarthy’s Notes on Trap.
My winter break plan
On our last day of class, we were around and shared our goals for our winter break, which is pretty long—seven weeks! I thought I’d share mine here, to keep me accountable. After taking last week off to rest and recover, these are my goals:
Read Dante’s Paradiso, the last installation in The Divine Comedy.
Read Porochista Khakpour’s The Brown Album—Khakpour is going to be visiting us for a discussion next semester, so I’d like to get a jump on reading her work.
Read one purely fun book. I’ve pulled aside Allie Rowbottom’s Aesthetica, Coco Mellors’ Cleopatra and Frankenstein, and Claire-Louise Bennett’s Checkout 19—I think I’ll bring one of these along on my trip to Costa Rica in January.
Revise the two essays I workshopped last semester.
Finish one WIP.
It’s a lot, but also doable, I think. It’s not very out of line with my typical pre-MFA workload at least, and definitely not more work than my actual MFA workload.
Thanks for reading, and happy holiday everyone :)
Love, Arielle
You've done SO MUCH this semester! Tremendously proud of + inspired by you.